December 13, 2012
Is This the Worst Job Listing on Earth?




The Dalkey Archive Press—conspicuously absent from Book Businessmagazine’s list of best publishers to work for— wants to expand its London office. Describing the opening they posted on their website as “sternly worded” would be euphemistic. Don’t bother applying if your cousin is about to get hitched in Brazil, because they’re only considering candidates who:




… do not have any other commitments (personal or professional) that will interfere with their work at the Press (family obligations, writing, involvement with other organizations, degrees to be finished, holidays to be taken, weddings to attend in Rio, etc.)




Still reading? Well, considering how grim publishing professionals’ prospects are these days, maybe you are. If you really want this job, be prepared to get fired over any of the following infractions:




… coming in late or leaving early without prior permission; being unavailable at night or on the weekends; failing to meet any goals; giving unsolicited advice about how to run things; taking personal phone calls during work hours; gossiping; misusing company property, including surfing the internet while at work; submission of poorly written materials; creating an atmosphere of complaint or argument; failing to respond to emails in a timely way; not showing an interest in other aspects of publishing beyond editorial; making repeated mistakes; violating company policies. 







Read more. [Image: Flickr]

Is This the Worst Job Listing on Earth?

The Dalkey Archive Press—conspicuously absent from Book Businessmagazine’s list of best publishers to work for— wants to expand its London office. Describing the opening they posted on their website as “sternly worded” would be euphemistic. Don’t bother applying if your cousin is about to get hitched in Brazil, because they’re only considering candidates who:

… do not have any other commitments (personal or professional) that will interfere with their work at the Press (family obligations, writing, involvement with other organizations, degrees to be finished, holidays to be taken, weddings to attend in Rio, etc.)

Still reading? Well, considering how grim publishing professionals’ prospects are these days, maybe you are. If you really want this job, be prepared to get fired over any of the following infractions:

… coming in late or leaving early without prior permission; being unavailable at night or on the weekends; failing to meet any goals; giving unsolicited advice about how to run things; taking personal phone calls during work hours; gossiping; misusing company property, including surfing the internet while at work; submission of poorly written materials; creating an atmosphere of complaint or argument; failing to respond to emails in a timely way; not showing an interest in other aspects of publishing beyond editorial; making repeated mistakes; violating company policies. 

Read more. [Image: Flickr]

1:00pm
  
Filed under: Employment Business Humor 
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  13. sosure reblogged this from journowifelife and added:
    I think I picked journalism as a backup plan, because I subconsciously knew it would make me think, “If I have to work...
  14. iknowyouwillbehappyhere reblogged this from okaycheckitout and added:
    I’m pretty sure the entire publishing industry is held together by gossiping and misusing the internet. Dalkey, what are...
  15. nomoretexasgovernorsforpresident reblogged this from theatlantic
  16. michaelk42 reblogged this from theatlantic and added:
    FTW
  17. apopyasy reblogged this from theatlantic and added:
    Wouldn’t it be easier to get some interns?
  18. themadnessexperience reblogged this from theatlantic