January 17, 2014
What’s In Those Haribo Gummy Bears?

In all fairness, you were warned. The Amazon description for sugar-free Haribo Gummy Bears reads, in part: “This product is a sugarless/sugarfree item with ingredients that can cause intestinal distress if eaten in excess.”
"Intestinal distress," in this case, might be an understatement for what a series of viral Amazon reviews call, “trumpets calling the demons back to Hell,” “guttural pronouncement so loud it threatened to drown out my own voice," and "100% liquid. Flammable liquid. NAPALM.”
So why is it that gummy bears, an otherwise delicious, springy snack, become so sphincter-confounding once the sugar is removed?
Read more. [Image: [jromero]/flickr]

What’s In Those Haribo Gummy Bears?

In all fairness, you were warned. The Amazon description for sugar-free Haribo Gummy Bears reads, in part: “This product is a sugarless/sugarfree item with ingredients that can cause intestinal distress if eaten in excess.”

"Intestinal distress," in this case, might be an understatement for what a series of viral Amazon reviews call, “trumpets calling the demons back to Hell,” “guttural pronouncement so loud it threatened to drown out my own voice," and "100% liquid. Flammable liquid. NAPALM.”

So why is it that gummy bears, an otherwise delicious, springy snack, become so sphincter-confounding once the sugar is removed?

Read more. [Image: [jromero]/flickr]

  1. littlebitll reblogged this from theatlantic
  2. ildcsu reblogged this from theatlantic
  3. feliceslosvalientes reblogged this from theatlantic
  4. kellyboba reblogged this from theatlantic and added:
    These are delicious :3 just not the sugar-free ones. Don’t torture your stomachs, guys!
  5. caro-la-pirate reblogged this from theatlantic
  6. eimearus reblogged this from theatlantic
  7. lilmisinnocent reblogged this from theatlantic and added:
    Who would want sugarless gummi bears anyway??I never share my gummi’s with anyone, except for this one time when I was...
  8. candykisaki reblogged this from theatlantic and added:
    Gummibärchen ♥
  9. swagswagswaaaaaag reblogged this from theatlantic
  10. epic-yawn reblogged this from theatlantic and added:
    Don’t touch the clear ones. They’re mine.Do. Not. Fuck. Around.
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